Satan: Misunderstood – (1) I’m Not A Bad Guy

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way promoting or endorsing Satanism! This will be the one and only time that I will make this clear. This is a fictitious account told from the perspective of Satan himself, based on research conducted which will be presented as a series of posts. Please do not send any e-mails or comments telling me that I will burn in hell or that I need Jesus or anything like that because it won’t work on me. I do not take kindly to ignorance. This is your one and only warning. Instead of judging, use the mind that you were given and do your own independent research on this topic if you are interested in learning more.


Hello. I am Satan. Put the crucifix away! I’m not going to kill you, or steal your soul, or whatever it is you were told that I do. I just want to talk. There are a lot of things that you have heard about me. That I’m evil. That I demand blood sacrifices. That I torture souls in hell for eternity. Blah! Blah! Blah! What if I told you that I’m not as bad a guy as you think I am? Hey stop laughing! And didn’t I tell you to put the crucifix away? By the way if that worked, wouldn’t I have been gone by now? Are those crickets I hear? Anyway, here is something for you to think about: All the things you heard about me was from one source. On top of that it’s a very biased source pushing an agenda. Do you know why Yahweh was all upset with me? Because I told Eve that if she ate a specific fruit that her eyes would be open and that she and Adam would be as gods knowing good and evil. But Yahweh told them that they would die. Last time I checked, instead of Adam and Eve dropping dead, they were able to figure out that they were nude and then they covered themselves up with fig leaves. How would they know how to do that if I didn’t tell them to eat the forbidden fruit? What was my crime? Giving humans knowledge. Which is what I said would happen. So just something for you to think about, who is the father of lies?

Here’s another thing that really grind my gears: How many people have Yahweh killed? I can’t even count. You have the flood on earth, you have Yahweh telling Moses to slaughter men and women who have gotten laid and then enslaving the virgin women and children, you have the plague in Egypt that wiped out all the first born. As a matter of fact, let me back up the claims of murder by your Lord with Bible scripture:

And the man that will do presumptuously, and will not hearken unto the priest that standeth to minister there before the Lord thy God, or unto the judge, even that man shall die: and thou shalt put away the evil from Israel. Deuteronomy 17:12 KJV

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:13

 A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.Leviticus 20:27

 And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Leviticus 20:10

And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. Leviticus 21:9

And they entered into a covenant to seek the Lord God of their fathers with all their heart and with all their soul; That whosoever would not seek the Lord God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.2 Chronicles 15:12-13

 Certain men, the children of Belial, are gone out from among you, and have withdrawn the inhabitants of their city, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known;Then shalt thou enquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought among you;Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the Lord thy God: and it shall be an heap for ever; it shall not be built again.And there shall cleave nought of the cursed thing to thine hand: that the Lord may turn from the fierceness of his anger, and shew thee mercy, and have compassion upon thee, and multiply thee, as he hath sworn unto thy fathers;When thou shalt hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, to keep all his commandments which I command thee this day, to do that which is right in the eyes of the Lord thy God.Deuteronomy 13:13-18

Okay granted, in these following examples he did not actually do the killing himself, but the order did come from him. Yahweh has endorsed the killing of nonbelievers, pagans, women who get laid, even children. But who have I ever killed? NO ONE! Marijuana and myself have a lot in common; we are misunderstood and we have caused no deaths. But yet I’m the evil one that must be shunned while the murderer receives all the honor, glory and praise. Isn’t one of his commandments ‘Thou shalt not kill’? I guess that should be modified to ‘Thou shalt not kill unless I tell you to do it’.


I also get a bad rap for rebelling against Yahweh. How dare me disagree with him. How dare me not obey and believe every word that he says. Let’s clear something up here. I wanted to be like the most high, not be better than him. Wouldn’t that show admiration and honor to him rather than disrespect? If I told you that I wanted to be like you, would you be offended or honored? If you would be offended, ask yourself why. Maybe it could be because you don’t want equals, you want subservience. You want everyone to be below you, not on par with you. Sound familiar? What most of you have been conditioned to believe is that humans are bad and require salvation. Now if I didn’t rebel against Yahweh and I didn’t tell Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, you would be running around like a bunch of robots believing everything to be ‘gravy’ in a covert theological dictatorship. While Yahweh suppresses free thought, I endorse it. When you think about revolution, think of me. When you think of nonconformity, think of me. Here’s something else for you to chew on; why would I give you knowledge and then tell you not to use it? It would have been a waste of my time to even go through the trouble, at risk to my own well-being keep in mind, if I refused you to take advantage of it.

Well I realize that you are busy, but I hope that I have at least given you some things to think about. Whether you want to believe me or not, you have to admit that I at least have a case. But this is not all that I have to tell you. Here’s a challenge, if you believe even 1% of my story, come see me tomorrow and I will share more with you. Otherwise, enjoy your life of worship and obedience.


One thought on “Satan: Misunderstood – (1) I’m Not A Bad Guy”

  1. Satan’s issue has always been misunderstood,humans with their 3% of conscience can’t sees nor hears,SATAN is Man made. Actually they create it to decline all sorts of responsibilities, i don’t believe in what you Humans who just been told about god,satan,angel,etc instead of knowing,we are gods satan is man made personality,how could you put all your faith into a jealous god? Who don’t wants you unleash your inner god,and keep fooling you all the times,i know i could sound a weirdo to you,but i am my God who is striving to fusion with the Source(inside) we are a whole with the Universe not One.

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